Archive for the Self-disclosure Category

A Word to Paul Simon

This past Sunday was the first message in a new series on building community through authentic relationships. Its focus was that of self-disclosure, or knowing and being known.

I’m not sure where you’re at in your faith journey, but my guess is that when it comes to talk of community, you are somewhere along a specific line. That line represents the spectrum between never before hearing about community, and hearing about it all the time.

For me, community has been a buzz-word at Cornerstone University for the last four years, and to be honest it’s easy to hear the word and immediately check out.

But during Pastor Don’s message, I found the Holy Spirit searching my heart and revealing things about myself that I knew I had swept under the rug.

As Pastor Don talked about the main barriers to opening oneself to a full community, I had to think about which of them resounded with me the most. The barriers are fear, pride, shame, and laziness. To be honest, I saw each one working within me. In the words of Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz, it’s easy to consider life as a movie starring me. The story is about my daily stresses, and my faith is about me and God.

As I was reminded on Sunday, God created us for relationship so we may know the relationship that naturally exists within the Trinity. Unfortunately, the reality is that community with others can be hard, and -on occasion- painful.

So how do we fight the urge to write off community? How do we get past the barriers of fear, pride, shame, and laziness? What is the alternative to declaring to the world that we are rocks that feel no pain, and islands that never cry?

Pastor Don had two suggestions as we seek to open our hearts wide for others. First, truly listen. He (or she) who has ears to hear, let them hear. As you listen to the struggles or joys of others, it will be easier connect with them, and learn how to share more of yourself.

The second thing you can do (and probably the first thing) is ask yourself, “why don’t I want people to get too close?” A little bit of introspection never hurt anyone, and you might find the Holy Spirit walking alongside you, helping you find the answers.

As you begin to open yourself up through self-disclosure, you will have the opportunity to experience a level of relationship that is far more fulfilling than one with, say, a Wilson brand volleyball.

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